paramedic humor | Medic Madness

Posts Tagged ‘paramedic humor’

Disneyland sets the bar high for fire departments

May 21st, 2010

Sean

After my trip to Disneyland today I came to the realization that our local fire service is inadequate. The services and equipment provided by Disneyland fire far surpasses anything I have seen from our city and county departments. Below are some pictures revealing my findings.

So that does it……

For now on I want our firefighters to drive compact, open top, fuel efficient fire engines while carrying pianos, trombones and saxophones.

Get with the times guys!

Posted in Humor

View Comments

If Batman was a Paramedic

March 11th, 2010

Sean

The other day I noticed a paramedic from out of the area with quite a large “utility belt”. Of course I nudged my partner and said “that guy has more gadgets on his belt than Batman”. Now we all know that such a thing isn’t really possible as NOBODY can outdo Batman. This did make me wonder what Batman would carry if he was a career Paramedic? Better yet, what kind of Paramedic would he be?

Night Shifts

“The Dark Knight” doesn’t do days. My guess is he would probably work a 19:00 to 07:00 shift. This would pretty much guarantee night time hours.

Scene Safety

Batman has never heard of the word “staging”. As a matter of fact, he clears the scene to make it safe for the cops to enter. You can be assured that he carries all his personal protective equipment at all times.

Dispatch

I think we all know how Batman would be dispatched to calls. The Bat Signal! This of course would have to be accompanied by some form of on-board computer in his rig. Even Batman needs some way to keep track of times and information for his paperwork.

Vehicle

The Bat-mobile is great for first-responding, but not so great for transporting patients. My guess is that he wouldn’t work on the ground at all. He would probably retrofit the Bat-Copter to serve as an air-ambulance. Of course, Batman’s night vision capabilities would allow him to handle more high-risk flights. Now some of you might ask “how is Batman going to fly and do patient care and the same time?”……Come on guys, He’s Batman!

Partner

Every good Paramedic needs a partner. Of course we all know that Robin is the man for the job. Only, I don’t see Robin as being a Paramedic. I see him as a really good EMT-Basic or Intermediate at best.

Equipment

OK, now comes the good stuff. I am going to list some essential equipment that Batman would use.

Bat Sheers – Needed for cutting clothes, leather, car doors and seat belts.
Bat Stethoscope – You think your “Cardiology 3″ is good? You can put his to the ground and hear a heartbeat in China!
Bat Radio – Consists of a tiny chip placed in his mask. No pesky Motorola’s for Batman!
Bat Scope – A laryngoscope made of carbon fiber. It also has unlimited battery life.
Bat Light – A penlight with x-ray vision.
Bat Monitor – A pair of cool-looking glasses so he can just at the heart right through the chest.
Bat Computer – 1,000 times tougher than the Panasonic Toughbook.
Bat Phone - Integrated with the Bat-Radio chip in his mask.
Bat Board – A backboard that folds into a pocket-size. My guess is that it would be made of some form of steel.

These are only a few examples of what could possibly be in Batman’s inventory. I am now calling on each of you to help me list the essential tools for Batman to carry while he’s on-duty!

Posted in Celebrity Medics, Humor

Tags: batman, batman jokes, ems humor, emt, paramedic, paramedic humor

View Comments

What do I look like?

February 19th, 2010

Sean

Let’s rewind back a number of years to the first week of my paramedic internship. I thought I had it all figured out. 400 maybe 500 hours and I was going to be off to take my registry test and get my license. The first call of the day is a motorcycle down. My preceptor informs me that I am running the call alone. Its sink or swim time. “No problem, I got this” I say through the window tha seperates the cab from the patient compartment.

We get on scene to find an intoxicated biker standing in the roadway talking to law enforcement. They don’t want him to go by ambulance as they are arresting him for dui. The officer asks me to evaluate him and make sure he is ok to go by squad car. I walk up to the man and ask “what’s going on?”

“I got bit by a shark” he replies.

Sean – “very funny, are you hurt?”
Patient – “you tell me”
Sean – “are you having any pain?”
Patient – “am I getting billed for this?”
Sean – “only if you are transported”
Patient – “then I’m not going”
Sean – “do you know where you are?”
Patient – (he tells me the cross streets)
Sean – “what is the date today?”
Patient – (tells me a date that is off by a couple days)
Sean – “what does that man look like over there?”
Patient – “a cop”
Sean – “what do I look like?”
Patient – “a dumbass”
My preceptor – “well sounds like he’s alert and oriented to me!”